Friday, June 5, 2015

Contingency Friendship

Is this a friendship  or a temporary means to an end? Does friendship have a personal agenda where it only applies in certain circumstances?

Where I come from, friendship is based on acceptance of others into your life and full understanding of who we are in the relationship. It is the highest form of love...

A friend confides without condition, selflessly
A friend is never a burden, imposition or a bother
A friend tells the truth even if you don't want to hear it

Friends are your lifeline, your connection, there when you need them, not when it's convenient. They are by your side and support you because they believe in you. They don't compare you to others, they defend you. They share and don't keep secrets. They don't make assumptions.

Third party friendship: When you  meet someone through a friend. Is that person now also a friend. Is there criteria to be met? Is this friendship conditional?

What would you do for a friend? Give them food, shelter, love? The basics to survive. Without friends we would not be able to see who we really are. When you look at a friend, your reflection stares back or not. The facade is lifted...

Here is a quote from the English poet David Whyte which sums it up succinctly...

"FRIENDSHIP is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die." 

No comments:

Post a Comment